Chapter 25.5

Hey Everybody!
It's been a while since I've been on blogger! I was house sitting for 2 weeks in Lotus - thus no internet, so I apologize....also I've been very busy adjusting to life, my new promotion and other things to be mentioned in other blogs!! keep reading!

Anyway, so I was in Lotus for two weeks and with only having work and going up to that house with no internet and barely any cell service, I had a lot of quiet time...which was EXACTLY what I needed! It was like a mini-vacation of sorts! No one knew how to get there or reach me, only me and the dog - and the deer and skunks :) It was nice!
During my time at this cabin of sorts, the election was going on it made me do self evaluations where I was at in life, what I was doing, who I am, how others see me, my impact on the world, my legacy and such. I think everyone should do that from time to time...take good hard looks at who you are, who you want to be, etc... ya know, plan out your game plan or how you're going to keep going toward the person you want to be or need to be. It's healthy!
So in thinking about all of that, there were a few things that were really brought to light and and I'm here now, to share those with you! Some of them will seem strange, but if you know me at all, you know this is only me trying to be a better me and please Jesus.

1. I -- by myself -- am not who I need to be. When you stand me alone, I'm not a complete package...no one is. But how I plan to reach this, is making everything I do, everything I say, everything I come in contact with, more pleasing for the Lord. Some of you Christians will say - "duh!" Ok you're right, this isn't really an enlightenment moment. I did know this already, but I'm making the hardest effort ever to live this through. Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not out intentionally sinning or doing bad things, I just need to take the old saying "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" to a whole new level. I need to make sure what I watch on tv, what I listen to in the car, and what I talk about, is ONLY glorifying the Lord to the MAX. Like I said, I'm not watching shows with tons of cussing or nudity now, nor am I listening to hard core rock and rap with cussing and defacing lyrics, but I need to be watching better shows and listening to even cleaner music. I also don't associate with partiers or cussers or people of no character now, but I'm going to make an even better effort to not just not have those people in my life but to actually have MORE people with charcter and Christ-centered lives in mine. Surround myself with Goodness! Goodness in, Goodness out! That's how I'm going to help myself when I stand alone.

2. I also need to pour more into my family. My attitude towards people beyond my immediate family has been rocky and fair weathered at times. When they were who I thought they should be, I was civil, but when they were doing things I disagreed with and didn't want to associate myself with, then I kept them at arms distance...that's what I do. I distance myself from bad situations so I never get blamed for bad behavior or thrown under the bus by a misunderstanding from someone else. Like them or not or agree with them or not, they're still my family and I've made my mind up to focus of family more...which is why I have all of my family members that are on myspace as my top friends. They're organized from closest in relation to furthest in relation, and brothers and sisters are organized from age! This is the first step to making my life more family focused! I'm sorry to all of the friends from CA to WV who aren't up there anymore. It's just my new outlook on my family. My dad has told me this since high school and I've believed him before but am taking it as a personal motto now, that when all of your friends have come and gone, your family is what remains...your famly is still there. So all you relatives better watch out, I'm gonna be more involved and more interested in your lives!

3. I also have a lot of people in my life from places like high school, church, softball etc... that I never hang out with, and I don't know why, so my third thing I'm going to work on is keeping in better touch with others who are what we like to call "good people" and are people I should keep in better contact with. People like Kristen Winters, Laura Remmington, Chris Stahl, Karen Gatlin, etc... you guys are amazing and I rarely talk to you! Tenaya Tucker, Brittany Smith, Danielle Alexander, Lindsey Mitchell, Jessie Spivey! Look for me to start blowing up your text messaging, phones and myspaces! I can't wait to be better friends to all of you and I'm so sorry we haven't kept in better touch. I've been selfish and lazy!

So with that said, this is a new Chapter of my life. I like to call it Chapter 25.5 :)

I hope this made sense! I had quite the convictions and attitude/mind adjustment while I was up on that mountain haha So please help me by understanding my adjustments! This move is for Jesus and for me. In helping Jesus, it'll help me! I just want to do the right things from now on, not necessarily the easiest ones~!


Love you!
Jeanette

Random Updates - feelings of accomplishments

So this is nothing more than an update on my life right now...again, not that any of you care!

BUT! here i go

So, I went pumpking patching with my mom on Tuesday - talk about a total blast! We went where my mom used to take us as little girls, and while everything was smaller than I remember it being, it was still soooo fun! However, riding in the hay cart on the way to the patch, as well as marching around the pumpkin patch, really scratched up my legs, not mention all the little buggies that bit me! Literally, I look like a crack whore with all the bites and scratches...I'm itchin all over the place! Not to mention, I just CRASHED last night after work, and like a dummy, fell asleep in my make up, so Im all broken out from that now...REALLY crack whoreish...lovely! *update, most of the sores have gone away! = feeling less crackish!*


But I did finally tan the other day - the first sun in MONTHS due to the ridiculous work schedule I seemed to have this summer. (ALL AFTERNOON/EVENINGS!) Hey, but I'm blessed to have work during this awful time right now...thanks economy! Love you! It's true that Sun makes you feel better! Just being hot from tan makes me happy! Ahhhh love you sun!

I have downloaded some good tunes lately, which also make me really love!

So lately, I've been feeling all kinds of emotions that I couldn't quite put my finger on but when I heard that I had an interview to promote to the position that had been giving me all these emotions, I had such a sense of relief and felt like I could cry. Now please know, I am NOT a crier (and for some reason that word looks misspelled to me even though I know it's not!) Anway...like I was saying. I'm not a crier but all these emotions came to a head on Friday and I just felt like a I needed a good cry. I teared up and got contemplative for about 10 minutes, and then got up and went out to my bestest's apt. for a little girl get together. JUST what the doctor ordered. I left my melancoly ways at the door! It felt good to be with the girls I know and love. Anyway, the interview is Wednesday at 3pm. WISH ME LUCK....butterflies are here...that's a good sign!

On another sad note, Paul Newman...handsome Paul Newman died today! How sad is that?! I think he and Clint Eastwood, are two guys who get cuter with age. Now now...I'm not into 80 years olds, I'm just saying they're handsome. So in memory of him, here's a classic photo!

Recaping some more, I'm super bummed because Marshall lost to WVU today (again) for the 2nd year in a row in the "friend of coal" bowl. I'm sad because Marshall was on such a high from their last away win at Southern Miss. Oh well HERD...you can do it next week! GO HERD!

I feel super accomplished right now...it just started off as one of those days. I returned a book, mailed two letters, wrote a note of appreciation, opened my replacement sidekick, transfered my sim card and battery to the new one as well as packaged the old one to ship and got ready for work, all before 415am. I ran a smooth, organized shift today with ZERO people causing drama (PTL), I bought a thank you card, wrote and signed it and cut out fabric for my bean bags I'm making all before 9:30am!, - while at work thank you! I came home, sewed the fabric together, watched a football game, did laundry, painted the bean bag ramp that we'll be tossing the bags in, put corn in the bean bags, went back to work to get some supplies I'd need, got the mail, got scrapbooking

supplies together for a future project, ate dinner, printed off 40 pages of coloring sheets for tomorrow's coloring contest, took a nap and organized my iTunes all before 8pm! It's been a day of productivity! I'm sure that doesn't sound like a lot of hard stuff, it's just been a day of "DOING" stuff ya know? It feels good and unstressful! I'm thinking of keeping the trend going and just going to get gas NOW instead of tomorrow morning when I don't feel like it. (yes I think I will when I'm done!)

Well I hope you had a great day of fun and football! I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR :)

Leave it to the Don

So anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about Mafia Movies...LOVE THEM!...so in watching God Father III, a) because I hadn't in forever and b) because I needed my Mafia blood pumping (and by the way, GF3 in no way should have even been part of the series because it's SUCH a stretch to try to connect the first two to it) I heard Michael Corleone (Don Corleone) tell a *nephew of his who's a hot head, a piece of advice, and surprisingly, it was kinda deep. It made me put the movie on pause and write this blog.

Don Corleone: Never hate your enemies. It clouds your judgement.

Wow! Ok I'm not a hateful person. I don't HATE many people...I can't stand TONS of people, but hate? Not so much. But when I can't stand you, I can't STAND you and I cut them off to hearing about them, from them, talking to them, etc... You get deleted from everything or I make it a clear point to not be associated with anything that they're associate with.

Lately, there have been people who have made me question whether I trust them. They've made me question their loyalty, honesty and value in my life and because of how I deal with that (aka cut them off or distance myself from them) I've become very irritable when I think about them or the instance that causes me to be this way. (aka hatred...and p.s. don't mind all the "aka's" - I abbrev. a lot ;-) )

Anyway, how true is that comment though? Hating your enemies clouds your judgment! It really does. You don't react to things about them or from them from a right state of mind, you react emotionally. I mean I know the Bible has some brillant scriptures on hatred and loving thy neighbor, but sometimes it just takes the Son of a Mafia King to give it to ya how you need to hear it. From now on, I will not let people I can't stand, cloud my judgement! :)

*Nephew changed from "cousin" - as so eloquently corrected by my friend Mitch :)

Babble about patience

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel you've put in your time, paid your dues, been a role player and when it comes to be your turn, the turn takes forever or seems to be getting further from your grasp?

As if I didn't know this already, things in life aren't fair and things in life don't come with experience or based off of seniority.

This is what I'm dealing with right now...waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting because that's all I can do. Or is it? I could be impatient and jump ship, or wait and see what unfolds then make an educated decision. But this is either going to be a positive move for me, or a move that God is teaching me patience. Either way...I'm not in charge and have to wait it out!

Churches aren't Museums, they're Hospitals

I heard in a sermon once, a line that has stuck with me and will forever. The pastor said "Churches aren't museums, where people should come in and out to see all the perfect people. Churches are hospitals. Everyone in here has problems they need help for and we can't fix them ourselves."


That's brilliant. If you didn't catch it the first time, read it again! *this is me...waving my hanky*



So why then do church goers (including myself for 21 years) feel the need to act like we are perfect, not really talk about tough issues or real life struggles? Why do we dress to the hilt and when people ask us how we are, we don't really tell them? And then why when someone does tell us, do we not really care and rush them to get them to stop "complaining?"



For 24 years of my life, I thought that's what churches all over the world were like and I felt guilty and sinful for having questions about topics. I felt convicted for struggling with real life temptations. But I found a church in Huntington, WV that kept it REAL and made no bones about the fact that everyone in there was struggling with something, and people genuinely wanted to see Jesus get you through that season of trials and tribulations. It's at this church that I saw faith REALLY work and I saw people REALLY in love with Jesus...and these were REAL people with REAL issues who REALLY talked about them. What a freeing feeling to know that you could admit your failures and there wasn't any judgment because they had gone through or were currently going through the same struggle. People prayed with you and checked up on you and it was truly sincere. It's amazing when it's not just that ONE lady in the choir who has invested her time and prayers into your situation, but in fact the whole choir. Or not just a friend who knows what you're going through, but everyone around you in your seating section at church!

Maybe it was a size thing...maybe when a church gets too big, you can't have that intimate connection with people. Or maybe when a majority of your church (or at least the people in leadership and true power) have enough money for issues to not really be relevant, that you don't "speak of such things." Maybe it's a regional thing? People aren't more important than time in certain places...if you can believe that.

I miss this intimate, human, Godly, sincere connection with brothers and sisters in Christ. I know that every church is different and that no one is perfect, but I just miss that honest, vulnerable "we're real and you can be too" approach to a conservative NOT...and I repeat... NOT a seeker sensitive message from the Word. You can be real and still get that FIRE from the pulpit that makes you wave that hanky and give a "wooo preach!" I miss that.



Anyway, needless to say. I'm a sinner. I've sinned and made mistakes. There. I said it. But I'm not going to feel ashamed anymore, because I fell and bumped my knee. That scar is my reminder of what NOT to do anymore. Those memories and shameful feelings are things I don't want to relive and because of this, I can share my testimony with others. AND NOT BE ASHAMED. I know that I grew up in the church and I KNOW that I "knew better" and "if I'd been stronger in my faith with the Lord things wouldn't have even crossed my mind," but I'm human. I've sinned and I have asked for forgiveness MORE than I needed to about issues that God has already forgiven me for. That stage of my life is over and I am seeking to be more connected with real Christ lovers who sin, but aim not to on a daily basis, but know that it's going to happen, and that you can't live in a state of shame your whole life. And guess what? I'm most likely going to sin again sometime soon...and I'm forgiven for that one too.



So because of my experiences, I promise to tell the world my testimony and represent Christ daily. I want people to know that its ok to be sick when you're seeking the Master Healer to fix you. It's ok to be let down by people who go to church...we're not perfect in ANY way and it's ok if you've fallen a MILLION times over the same thing. Make this the last fall and move on from the shame and guilt of not being perfect.



Christians aren't perfect, but Christ is.

Suze Orman

I'm about to go to bed and came across Suze Orman on KVIE and she's speaking at a women's conference titled "Women and Money." Who doesn't want guidance from a professional about money? She mentioned 8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman and in inspecting them, she's got some pretty good points.

8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman
1. Harmony- Harmony is when your thoughts, words, actions and feelings are all the same. How often to we say things but mean another or think one thing but do another. All 4 of these need to be Harmonious.
2. Balance - Balance is when there is equilibrium, confidence, and actions within you to make good decisions. Balance and Harmony go hand in hand...if you have one you can have another.
3. Courage - Courage is the emotion or the energy that can quiet the fear that keeps you from doing what you know is right.
4. Generosity - Generosity is when it is as much of a gift to the person to whom you're giving, as it is to yourself. You are empowered by what you are giving when you are generous.
5. Happiness - Happiness comes from when you're truly Harmonious, Balanced, Courageous and Generous. Everyone around you is happy because you're happy. You don't go out buying things you don't need, in order to make you happy.
6. Cleanliness - Cleanliness helps your wealth because wealth cannot dwell in filth. When things are clean and uncluttered, you have no excuse for why bills aren't paid; because you know where they are and when they're due. You'll feel Harmonious, Balanced, Courageous, and Happy if you are clean.
7. Beauty - Beauty is when you fee the inner beauty and strength and feel confident. You know your worth and your strength, and when you feel beautiful, you feel confident.
8. Wisdom - Wisdom is the right choices with your money and your loved ones. Choice are based on all 8 of these Qualities.

They all go hand in hand and if one of these isn't functioning properly, everything will be in disarray.

I feel like these are just good Qualities for a HEALTHY woman. I feel like I exude like 5 or 6 of these 8 which COULD be why I haven't stored $500,000 in an off shore account! haha

I'm not happy right now in life. I know that it's work that it all boils down to, and each day I try to not let it get to me, but I've pretty much committed my life to it and take it very personally. I do what I cant to make work go smoother and easier for everyone and not everyone appreciates that...infact they're so bold as to have attitudes about it. (Hince my unhappiness)

I'm also working on the "beauty" part too...I'm on what I like to call "Operation Size 2" which in essence is me losing weight. I've lost 9lbs so far and I'm aiming for 20 more, which won't put me at a size 2 but you get my drift! I'd be 19 sizes closer! (none of which you probably cared to know just now)

I'm not always WISE with my my money. While I'm not UNWISE, I spend it on frivolous things...sodas, eatting out, etc...I need to be a better saver and not be such a good spender. I know I've been blessed beyond belief with the money I make and do have, but I need to be wiser with it.

How are you with these 8 Qualities? Is your life Harmonious and Balanced? Are you Courageous, Generous and Happy, Clean/Organized, Beautiful and Wise? I think everyone could use a tune up here and there right?!!

New To Blogger

Hey Everyone - to whomever knows I have this and is even reading it haha

I just thought I'd give this a try and hopefully use this as a theropuetic outlet versus having everyone I know on myspace or facebook read it get all bent outta shape etc...

So I hope you all look forward to my views and opinions! :) Thanks for reading!


p.s. sorry this wasn't interesting! :)